Funny and Funky Whatsapp Message

 

 


Ek aurat Dr Se: “Mera Pati 300% Napusank Hai”
Doctor Hairan Hoke: “Arrey, Wo Kaise?”
Aurat Rote Hue Boli: “Ek To Uska Khada Nahi Hota. Dusara Uski Ungli Bhi Tuti Hai. Teesra KalUs MadarchodNe Garam Garam Chai Pee Ke Apni Jibh Bhi Jala Li.“


Ek Moti Lady Ek Bar Bazar Mein Bra Lene Gayi, Aur Dukan Par Jake Bra Dekhne Lagi.
Dekhte Dekhte Achanak Boli: “Bhaiya, Wo Wali Bra Mere Size Ki Lagti Hai, Dikhana Zara”
Dukandar: “Maff Karna Bahanji, Wo Bra Nahi, Mere Scooter Ki Steppney Ka Cover Hai“


Pappu: “Mom, Aap Blouse Mein PaiseKyun Rakhti Ho?”
Mom: “Taaki Tere Papa Ko Pata Na Chale”
Pappu: “Mom Aap Bhi Na, Bechare Papa Roz Kaamwali Ke Blouse Mein Dhoondte Rahte Hai“


Ek Dukhi Lady Baba Ke Pas Gayi Aur Boli
Lady: “Baba Mera Pati Kab Sudhrenga?”
Baba: “Pati Ko Layi Ho?”
Lady: “Nahi.”
Baba: “Koi Baat Nahi, Apna Blouse Kholiye”
Lady: “Kyun?”
Baba: “Bachha, Pati Ki Hath Ki Rekhayein Dekhni Hai Na“


Apni Suhagrat Ko Pati Achhe Tarike Se Sex Kar Nahi Paya
Subha Dulhe Ki Maa Ne Bahurani Se Puchha
Saas: “Bahu, Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?“
Bahu Udasi Se: “Maa Ji Kya Batau, Grah Parvesh To 2 Baar Hua, Par Grah Shanti Nahi Ho Paayi“


Girl Hostel Me Ek Phone Aaya – “Meena Hai Kya?”
Warden Ne Pucha – “Piche Kya Lagati Hai Wo?”
Phone Wala – “Ab Tho Pata Nahi Ji Par Pehle Sarson Ka Tel Lagati Thi“


Aeroplane me ek scientist aur ek bachha sath baithe the
Sct:- Kuchh baat kare , time paas ho jayega
Boy:-Kis topic par
Sct:-Nuclear power par
Boy: Theek
he,magar pehle mere ek sawal ka jawab do ki jab Bakra, Bhaisa aur Gadha, teeno ghaas khate h,
phir Bakre ka Lund itna chhota q?
Bhaise ka itna mota q? aur
Gadhe ka itna lamba q hota h?
Sct:-what nonsense, mujhe nhi pta
Boy: bhosdiwale Pata tujhe Lund ka nhi or Baatein nuclear power ki chodni hai


Popat ka Pinjra
20 Rupaye me".
Popat ka Pinjra.                                                20 Rupaye me ...ek aadmi road side chilla raha tha
1Aurat ne pas ja kar dekha,
aur
wapas aayi.

Dusri: Kya huwa?

Patni: Haramkhor Kameena!

"UNDER WEAR"
bech raha hai.


Response after sex

1) call girl; paise

2) girl frends; jaldi kapde do

3) padosan; fir kab aoge

4) wife; ab 2 din kuch mat bolna

5) kamwali; ab to pagar bada do..


Suhag raat ko dulha bola: Priye bolo, aaj tujhe chand pe le jaun ya taaron me?
Dulhan: Pehle apna Rocket dikhao, phir decide karungi.


Kuware sochte hai k shadishuda ache h
Shadishuda sochte hai k kuware ache h
Fark sirf itna hai ki Shadishuda din m sochte hai or kuware raat ko...


Boyfriend1:- can i touch your boobs
Girlfriend1 :- Shut up!!!!
Boyfriend2 :- can i touch ur heartbeats
Girlfriend2 :- ooooh!! how sweet!!

Rishta wahi soch nai


Teacher: Machchhar k Katne Se Maleria hota hai Aids kyu Nahi ?

Student: Qki Machchhar Dunk Marta hai Gaand nahi. Aage se Bakchodi Wale Sawal mat Puchhna.


LIC launches a new sexy Policy Jeevan Sambhog In partnership with MANFORCE condoms and UNWANTED-72
The new punch line:- Thokne ke Saath Bhi, Thokne ke Baad Bhi.


Shop pe Ladki ne 36 ki Bra li or trial room me kameez uttar ke dukandar ko andr bulaya.

Dukandar ne Boobs dekh ke chusna shuru kar diye jin pe behoshi ki dawa lagi hui thi, Wo behosh ho gaya.

Ladki ne shop ka tamam Cash liya & jate hue shishe pe likh gai:

Khula Dudh Sehat ke lie Hanikarak Hai !!


Girl: condoms Dena..
Shopkeeper(masti main): kis liye -e-e-e
Girl(Gusse se): Tere baap ko gift karungi, taki tere jaisa dusra CHUTIYA paida na kare....

 
Fauji's wife daily sends her nude photo with both legs wide open ...

"Janu, I'll wait like this till you come!"

Fauji: Wo to theek hai, par photo kaun kheench raha hai??


Girl Friend: I demand gud manners in bed, just like at the dinner table ...

Sardar climbs into bed slowly & says: Honey, would you pass the boobs please??


Husband is praying before going to bed ...

Wife: What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance.

Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!


The best excuse given by a lady for missing office on Monday ...

My husband took an overdose of Viagra ... couldn't leave him alone with the Maid!!


A boy comes to his class with broken spectacles ...

Teacher: What happened?

Boy: I was kissing my Girlfriend.

Teacher: But how did your spectacles break?

Boy: She closed her legs!!


What's the difference between a man & a woman ...

A man always has the same DICK between his legs all his life ...

A woman MAY NOT!!


Wife: Nashta kar lo.

Husband: Sex hi mera nashta hai & he starts sex.

Dopahar ko wife: Lunch kar lo.

Husband sex hi mera lunch hai & starts sex.

Raat ko jab husband aata hai to wife panty utaar kar
heater ke aage baithi hoti hai.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: Hawas ke poojari, khana garam kar rahin hoon!!


After operation, a girl to Dr: How soon can I resume my sex life?

Dr: You are the first patient to ask this question after tonsil operation!!


Sexy Lady goes to male gynae and says: Dr, a fly has entered my vagina.

Dr: There is only one solution. I can apply some honey on my penis and insert in your vagina. The fly will stick to penis and thus we can take it out.

Lady: Go ahead.

Dr starts.

After five minutes, sexy lady asks: Kya hua Dr, fly kab bahaar niklega?

Dr: Plan changed. I am going to drown him..


Boy- U R wearing Red Bra ?
Girl - How do u know?
Boy-Thanx 2 RAJNIKANT Eyecare!
Girl-U r not wearing underwear
Boy - Hey U too RAJNIKANT eyecare!
Girl - Chain laav aai Zavadya.
Tuza RAJNIKANT baher alaay.


Arz Kiya H

Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,

Gaur Farmaiyega.

Wah Wah, !!!
"Sun to Le Bhosdi ke"

Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,

Use Kehte H Jhaat K Baal...


Suhaag Raat Me Wife :
Muje Gabhrahat ho rahi Hai..

Husband : Tumhari PehLi Raat hai na IsLiye ?

Wife : Nahi Ji Raat me Pehli Baar hai IsLiye.


Pati: Sex ho jaye?
Wife:Nahi
Pati: Zewar la dunga
W:Nahi
Pati: Car launga
W:Nahi
Beta so raha tha..beech me bola: Papa meri gand mar lo par CYCLE la do...


Ladki to Dr: Bachcha 2 din se doodh nhi pi raha
Dr ne Bra me hath daala aur kafi der taK bobbs ko masal ke bola
Doodh hi nai hai
Ladki:"Main to iski Mausi hoon"


Wife: Please zara ye bra ka hook laga dijiye.
Hus: I will charge 4 kisses.
Wife: Rahne do, padosi Se free me lagva leti hu, wo haath daal kar Set bhi kar denge.


CONDOM salesman:
Condom chahiye kya???

Marwadi: kam bhav ka khushbudar rahega to de.

Salesman:
Laude pe agarbatthi ka plastic lagake chod Bhosdike...


MAUN-VRAT ke dinl
Wife ne Boobs hilake dikhaya
Husbd ne apna bahar nikal k dikhaya
Wife guse me-Mera matlb hai dudwala kab ayega
Hsbd: mera mtlab hai 1 Ghante me


Girl: What do u prefer? Breasts or Legs??
Kuljit: Choot..!
.
Girl slaps & says: "Randi Khana nahi hai Bhosdi ke, KFC ka counter hai ye"..


Jeevan ki 3 Hakiikat.

School ki Ghanti.
Garib ka Darwaja.
Jawan Ladki.

INKO JAB BHI THOKOGE

BACCHE HI BAHAR NIKLENGE !


The Most emotional line said by a girl to a boy after break-up-

"Jaanu, hilaate waqt to yaad karoge na ?


Ladki mandir me prasad lekar pandit k pair chhukar boli
koi gyan ki baat btao.

Pandit= Beti"Bra pehna karo"jhukti ho to
dhyan aur gyan
dono ki Maa chud jati he !!


Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle,
aap ek baar try karo na!"

Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."

Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"

Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.

Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-
"kar nahi paaunga"

Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha.


Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U?
Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do..

more »

Adult or 18+ Whatsapp Message and jokes

The sex life of my belt's buckle is as frustrating as mine. It also sees many holes everyday but goes in the same again and again!

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Women have the same parameters for Men and Pizza delivery people. They are disappointed if they come before 30 minutes!

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Women are a lot like alcohol. They may give you a great night but they're a fucking headache in the morning!

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Female tears and male sperms are so similar. They're always eager to come out and only one in a million is for the right cause!

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Dear Periods,

The only reason we tolerate you is because you're a sign that we're not pregnant.

Sincerely,

Girls

Dear Periods,

We only tolerate you because we get blow jobs that week.

Sincerely,

Boys

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Men like sex, just like their belts...

If it's not tight enough, they'll move it to another hole!

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Responses during Sex:

Mistress: Wow! Darling this is great!

Whore: Come on finish it now!

Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly!

Wife: Ceiling needs painting!

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A good date ends with dinner. An awesome date ends with breakfast!

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Cleavage is like the Sun. You can look at it but you cannot stare - unless you are wearing sunglasses!

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If you don't get a good appraisal inspite of giving your best, don't be disheartened. Even condoms are thrown away after 100% result oriented performance. ��

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Funny phrases...... 

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?

      A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?

     A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

     A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, ' Don 't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!

18. Breasts are proof that men can focus on 2 things at a time.

19.Send to the men who need a laugh and women who have a sense of humor. 

**********************************************************************

A boss has to interview 4 girls for a secretary position.He asked the same question to each one of them.

Boss: "A woman normally has lips in 2 different places. What's the difference between the two?

First Girl: "one is hairy, the other isn't " . Boss: "OK.. good!"

Second Girl: "one can talk but the other can't ". Boss: "that's better!"

Third Girl: "one is vertical & the other is horizontal ". Boss: "Hmm.. clever!"

Last Girl: "one is for me & the other is for my Boss ".

Boss: "you are hired !!!

************************************************************************

चोदू यूनिवर्सटी का

Diploma in Doggy style विषय का पर्चा�� OUT 

Sub: sex position

Time:3 Hours

Maximun marks:80 

Ques:- Doggy style sex में चूतड पीटने का क्या महत्व है? 

Ques:- Doggy style sex का इतिहास बताए। 

Ques:- क्या इस विधि से लडकी की गाण्ड भी मारी जा सकती है?

हाँ या नहीं।अपना तर्क दो। 

Ques-: सन्नी लियोन के द्वारा doggy style की बताई गई

विशेषताएँ बताओ। हाँ या ना में उत्तर दो। 

1.Doogy style sexकरने से पैदा हुए बच्चा क्या कुता होगा? 

2.Doggy style sex को 69sex भी कहते है? 

3.इसमे कुत्ते का होना जरूरी है? 

4.इसमे sex करते वक्त लडकी, लडके को देख नही सकती। 

5.इसमें लडकी की टांगे हवा मे होती है! 

Numaricals 

एक लडकी dogyy style मे चुद रही है तो एक ठोक से उसके चूचे 3

बारऊपर उछलते है,अगर 272 बार उछले तो चूत भे

लगी ठोकरो की संख्या बताओ। 

���������������� इस बार तो PAPER-OUT करवा दिया तेरे यार ने��

NEXT SEM. मे तैयारी कर लियो भोसडी के ����

�����������������������������������������

Whatsapp Jab Ladki Ne Khola Payjama Joke

Jab Ladki ne Khola, Payjame ka Naara..

Dekh k Ghabra gai, kyun ki L*ND tha Aara.. 

Ladka bola, Chalo Utaro Salwar..

Ladki boli, ye L*ND hai ya Talwar.. 

Bana k Ghodi jo Mara Jhatka..

Lu*d seedha uski ch*t main atka.. 

Ladki Bahut zor se chillai..

5 minute main, phir nikli malai.. 

Ladka bola, main ho gaya thanda..

Ladki boli, once more mere Chanda !

�����������������������������������������

, Adult SMS - 70 साल का एक बूढ़ा अपने डॉक्टर दोस्त से बोला, मैं आज भी सेक्स करने में 1 घंटा, 40 मिनट, 15 सेकंड लगाता हूँ।

डॉक्टर हैरान होकर बोला, वोह केसे?

बूढ़ा: 40 मिनट खड़ा करने में, 15 सेकंड धक्का मारने में और 1 घंटा सेक्स के बाद होश में आने के लिए।

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Adult SMS -

 भरी बस में एक लड़की के पीछे खड़े लड़के का खड़ा औजार लड़की को छू रहा था।

लड़की ने उस लड़के को ज़ोर से थप्पड़ मारा और कहा, कमीने खुद को खड़े होने की जगह नहीं, तूने इसको भी खड़ा कर रखा है।

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Adult SMS -

 जज: बलात्कार के वक़्त जब वो मुंह में डालने की कोशिश कर रहा था तो तुमने उसके औजार को दांतों से क्यों नहीं काटा?

महिला: मैं शाकाहारी हूँ क्यूंकि मेरा धरम मुझे इसकी इजाज़त नहीं देता।

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Adult SMS -

 एक छोटा बच्चा अचानक पेरेंट्स के बेडरूम में गया।

और वहां का नज़ारा देख के चिल्लाता हुआ बोला,खुद जो मर्ज़ी आये चुसो, और मुझे अंगूठा चूसने पर इतना मारते हो।

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Adult SMS -

 नयी सेक्रेटरी: बॉस मुझे रोज़ कितने घंटे बैठना पड़ेगा?

बॉस: तुम खुद ही सोच लो कि मेरे बाजू के केबिन में 10 घंटे बैठोगीया मेरे घंटे पर 10 मिनट!

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Adult SMS -

 कंडोम का शुद्ध हिंदी नाम क्या है?

रबर की चिकनाई युक्त प्रजनन विरोधक मर्दाना लिंग की टोपी!

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Adult SMS -

 बड़ी बहन हनीमून पर गई।

छोटी ने मैसेज किया, दीदी जो जीन्स दी थी, उसे जरूर पहनना।

दीदी ने जवाब दिया, इस हरामखोर ने 4 दिन से चड्ढी नहीं पहनने दी है और तुझे जीन्स की पड़ी है?

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Adult SMS -

 सेल्सगर्ल: सॉरी! आप यहाँ धुम्रपान नही कर सकते!

ग्राहक: पर मैंने सिगरेट तो यहीं से ली है!

सेल्सगर्ल: सर हम तो कंडोम भी बेचते हैं पर इसका मतलब ये नही कि आप यहीं सेक्स करना शुरू कर दो!

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Adult SMS -

 चाइनीज लड़की जिसने अपना कुंवारापन खो दिया हो उसका क्या नाम हो सकता है?

ली हुई!

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Adult SMS -

 क्लास में बहुत शोर हो रहा था

मुख्याध्यापिका: किसका पिरीअड चल रहा है!

शरमाते हुए 8 लड़किया खड़ी हो गई!

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Adult SMS -

 गोल्फ बेवकूफों का खेल हैं! डंडा हाथ में और बॉल होल में!

गेम का मजा तो तब आता हैं! जब बॉल हाथ में और डंडा होल में हो!

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Adult SMS -

 डॉक्टर ने एक 80 साल के बूढ़े व्यक्ति से कहा: इस उम्र में जवान लड़की के साथ सेक्स करना जान लेवा हो सकता है।

बूढ़ा: मुझे कोई परवाह नहीं है। मरती है तो मर जाए, साली।

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Adult SMS -

 एक मोहल्ले में रात के अँधेरे में रेप हो गया।

पुलिस: क्या आप बता सकती हैं कि ये किसने किया?

लड़की: कोई बाहर का ही था, इतना बड़ा हमारे मोहल्ले में किसी का नहीं है।

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Adult SMS - 

एक लड़का लड़की से: मैं कंवारी लड़कियों से सेक्स नहीं करता!

लड़की: वो क्यों? 

लड़का: क्योंकि मुझे खून खराबा पसंद नहीं है!

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Adult SMS - 

पोती: बच्चा कैसे पैदा होता है?

दादी: आसमान से परी आती है और माँ के पेट में रख देती है!

पोती: दादी, वो सुहागरात वाला सिस्टम खत्म हो गया क्या?

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Adult SMS -

 संता अपनी पत्नी के साथ प्यार करने लगा!

जीतो: प्लीज़ आज मत करो आज मेरा उपवास है!

संता: मेरे गुप्त अंग पर आटा लगा हुआ है जो तुम्हारा उपवास टूट जायेगा!

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Adult SMS - 

एक बस में सभी सीटों पे मर्द बैठे हुए थे। एक लड़की बस में खड़ी थी और किसी ने उसको सीट नहीं दी।

काफी देर बाद वो विफल (Frustrate) होकर बोली, कैसा जमाना आ गया है, चूत खड़ी है और सभी लंड बैठे हैं।

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Adult SMS -

 गुप्ता जी सेक्स करते हुए: आज पिच बहुत गीली है मैं जल्दी आउट हो जाऊँगा!

पत्नी: आपको तो आउट होने का बहाना चाहिये कल इसी पिच पर शर्मा जी शतक मार कर गए है!

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Adult SMS - 

एक लड़की की पैट्रोल डालने वाले से शादी हो गई!

दुल्हन की सहेलिया: सुहागरात कैसी रही?

दुल्हन: बेवकूफ सारी रात हाथ में लेकर घूमता रहा और बार-बार पूछता रहा कितना डालू!

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Lal g

जीतो बस में अपने पीछे खड़े एक आदमी से बोली, "थोड़ा पीछे होकर खड़े रहें।" आदमी बोला, "पीछे से लोग धक्का मार रहे हैं।"

जीतो: चूतिये 2 बच्चों की माँ हूँ, धक्का मारने और गांड मारने में फर्क समझती हूँ।

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Lal g

बॉर्डर पर लड़ाई शुरू हो गई।

संता: मेजर साहब, मैं दुश्मनों की माँ चोद दूंगा।

मेजर: भोसड़ी के, दुश्मन मारने हैं, पैदा नहीं करने!

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Lal g

जीतो: डॉक्टर साहब मेरा होल बहुत बड़ा है।

डॉक्टर: होल देखकर, यह तो गुफा है, यह तो गुफा है, यह तो गुफा है।

जीतो (गुस्से में): इसमें 3 बार बोलने की क्या ज़रूरत है?

डॉक्टर: बहन की लोड़ी, आवाज़ गूंज रही है।

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Lal g

भोजपुरी पति सुहागरात को अपनी पत्नी से बोला, "आज तो हम तुहार माँ चोद देबे"।

भोजपुरी पत्नी अपना घघरा उठा के बोली, "और इको का तुहार बापू आई के चोदी?

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Lal g

जीतो डॉक्टर से, "मुझे दूध नहीं आ रहा"।

डॉक्टर: हम चूस के चेक करते हैं।

जीतो हँसने लगी तो डॉक्टर बोला, "तु हँसी क्यों?"

जीतो: 2 दिन से टट्टी भी बंद है।

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Ek Ladki Apne Mohalle Me Kisi Ko Line Nhi Deti Thi.

Mohalle K pappu ne usse Kha - Tum Mujhe BOOBS choosne do To Mai Tumhe 1 Lakh Rs. Dunga.

Ldki Razi Ho gayi Or Bra Utar K Boli- OK..

Pappu Kafi Der Tak Uske BOOBS Pe Haath Ferta Rha.

Ladki- Ab Choos Bhi Lo ?

Pappu- Nhi Yaar,

Bahut Mahenga Hai ��.........

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Naughty whatsapp status

• The sex life of my belt's buckle is as frustrating as mine. It also sees many holes everyday but goes in the same again and again!

  
  

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  Women have the same parameters for Men and Pizza delivery people. They are disappointed if they come before 30 minutes!

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  Women are a lot like alcohol. They may give you a great night but they're a fucking headache in the morning!

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  Female tears and male sperms are so similar. They're always eager to come out and only one in a million is for the right cause!

  -------------------------

  Dear Periods,

  The only reason we tolerate you is because you're a sign that we're not pregnant.

  Sincerely,

  Girls

  
  

  Dear Periods,

  We only tolerate you because we get blow jobs that week.

  Sincerely,

  Boys

  -------------------------

  Men like sex, just like their belts...

  If it's not tight enough, they'll move it to another hole!

  -------------------------

  Responses during Sex:

  Mistress: Wow! Darling this is great!

  Whore: Come on finish it now!

  Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly!

  Wife: Ceiling needs painting!

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  A good date ends with dinner. An awesome date ends with breakfast!

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  Cleavage is like the Sun. You can look at it but you cannot stare - unless you are wearing sunglasses!

   

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  If you don't get a good appraisal inspite of giving your best, don't be disheartened. Even condoms are thrown away after 100% result oriented performance. ��
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   NAUGHTY ENGLISH STATUS
   
  
  
• I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
• If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
• How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
• I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
• Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let’s bang!
• Is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I would love to tap that ass!
• If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
• You remind me of a Championship bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you!
• Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
• Could I touch your belly button. . . . from the inside?
• I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t u + i = 3D 69?
• How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll put my head in.
• I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
• Nice legs…what time do they open?
• You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
• Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
• My name is (name)…remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.
• Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
• My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
• Lets play Titanic, you’ll be the ocean and ill go down on you.
• I’m easy. Are you?
• I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.
• That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I’d becoming too!
• Wanna play Pearl Harbor?….Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
• Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
• You’re like a prize winning fish. I don't know whether to eat you or mount you.
• I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
• You must work at Subway, cause you just gave me a foot long.
• Where you born on a farm? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock!
• Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
• A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What’s the moral of the story??? A wet pussy always makes a happy cock.
• I may not be Mr. Right, but I’ll screw you till he shows up.
• What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!
• If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?
• Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
• Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.
• The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to bang you on the floor.
• Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
• Smile! It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

A Govt. Servant woman of our colony has been appointed as BLO (Booth Level Officer) by the Election Commission for correcting the voter's list.

She came to our home for verification. I asked her "Aunty you are doing double duties nowdays. This election work and your office work together!"

She replied " no no beta I m doing this BLO job only nowdays"

 

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